time out

by Heidi on March 13, 2010


I am sitting here at my kitchen table, at home. Home? I feel like I haven’t been here in forever. Other than to sleep.

I’ve not been feeling so well lately. Earlier this week I finally accepted that I needed to phone in and see my doc. Doc was not pleased. Aside from having my thyroid be completely out of whack, my blood pressure and heart rate were low, very low. low enough that he warned me If  I don’t start taking care of myself, im going to end up in a coma. So…. i heed his warning. He called me in an emergency dose of thyroid hormone, which is fast acting and unlike the typical synthroid or levoxyl. Also upped my dose of my regular meds and switched me over to synthroid.

I came home and tried to figure out what I can do, to keep me from running on empty, sleepless, malnourished and overworked. I cant stop making soap, I cant not deal with the business ends of things, I cant not have my shop open. oh.. oh wait, but I can make real store hours. I can allow myself time to deal with little things at home like laundry and dishes.  Up until this week, I was at the shop morning till night and often into the wee hours of the mornings. rushing in and out of there like a worker bee, off to the bank, off to the post office, off for supplies…. etc.. No more :)

DOC: Heidi - are you sleeping? ” well, yes, but very broken”

DOC: how broken ? ” i wake every hour, almost on the spot.

DOC : Heidi, are you eating? ” yes, once a day”

DOC:  are you under stress..what sort? ” immense, more so than Ive ever been, every sort”

DOC: Heidi, you have to stop. You have to take a break. You cant do this to yourself. Please, take it from me. can you promise me you will have a conversation with yourself, and make some time for you?  ” i can promise you i will have the conversation, i cant promise you i will find the solutions but i will try”

DOC: Yes, your thyroid is very enlarged and out of control, but you are forgetting everything and so tired because you arent sleeping because you are overworked. please, slow down. ” ok”

I go back in two months, perhaps its the thought of letting my awesome doctor down, but something with my conversation with him made me actually listen for once. Maybe because i saw how happy he is now, how refreshed he looked, after learning that he has stopped working 5 hospitals all night long, after leaving his practice daily. Im not sure… but something made me listen. Maybe it was because i felt worse physically and mentally than ive ever felt in my life.

So its been less than a week, Ive set myself some real store hours, Ive scheduled myself time in my home to deal with my daily trappings, Ive managed to work out days in which i will tackle the many emails that flood my mailbox with skincare questions. Most importantly, Ive accepted that I cannot do as much as i was doing, as much as i was trying to do it. The guilt of not answering emails right away was eating me alive, the pressure of having to make product faster than i can produce it was weighing heavily on me, the lack of time trying to schedule in meetings and store visits was overwhelming. Trying to keep up with the website,ordering, email blasts, promos and such…Finally,  I am starting to make some structure. Its starting to work.  I feel SO much better! even to be sitting at my kitchen table this morning as Im writing this, is huge to me right now.

So, one of the things that nags @ me and keeps my nights sleepless?  research. HA - its like this terrible addiction! If im not researching i feel like i am missing part of me. At any given time, if you were to look at my laptop screen, you will see at least 10 pages open, and at least half of them are due to researching. Ingredients, warnings, safety, studies - i can’t stop! This is why you always find me coming out with new bars, playing with new mixtures. This is why every single bodygoodies soap is made from its own unique formula. Seriously. There is not one bar in the line up that shares the same base recipe as another. I am that nerdy. yes.

Something thats been on my mind, is how so many of my soaps are created with a purpose. And their ingredients actively do beneficial things for certain skin conditions, types, etc. But that doesnt mean the bar wont be good for you if you dont have an issue. All of the bars are made with general in mind. Yes, they will do certain things for certain people, but they are good for anyone, skin issue, or not. These descriptions ive got - create a lot of room for questions to fly in. Questions i dont always have the time to sit and answer, unfortunately. I try my best to keep up - but i am a single mother, holding down the fort at home, and also managing, producing, and running an entire business on my own. So to heed my dr’s warning, again - ive found an answer.

I’m going to be bringing soaps in the line, which will fall under the category ” just because” - they are soaps, JUST because they are awesome soaps. They arent going to have the crazy infusions or active ingrediens - sure, they will still do something for your skin. They are extremely well formulated, cold process soaps - they are going to be AWESOME for your skin. This also allows me to play around with new fragrance mixtures. Im reeeeeally excited :)  So be on the lookout for some new soaps coming to the line - without extremely long descriptions, but with the same care, thought, and formulating perfection that all bodygoodies soaps are made from.

So, I hope you all forgive me and understand that its been difficult for me to get to all of the emails that have come in over the last 2 weeks, I hope to be getting to them one by one as i slowly get back on track, on the mend, and being the soapy powerhouse that drives bodygoodies to bring you all the incredible products we’ve got.

well- Im off to the shop - but not before packing myself some lunch for a change!! today - organic yogurt with shredded carrots, pineapple, granola, and flaxseed oil! YUM!!

- heidi


1 Gina McLaughlin March 13, 2010 at 1:25 pm

You must take the doc advice. And the best thing you can do for you is to make a schedule. A schedule that allows you to include your food sources, your rest and your mommy time. In that schedule should be your research, your emails your store hours etc.
The making of product and the pressure of production is going to be your tuffest battle. Especially when I am sure you want to keep costs to a minimum right now. Maybe volunteers, maybe it is time to hire one person. Finding that right person is not easy! I will forwarn you :)
You are doing a great job, we all support you!
Hey, I ought to take my own advice! hahaha! I think I will.

2 Linda April 9, 2010 at 3:06 pm

Heidi, a word to the wise….a good friend of mine opened a very sucessfull business and only did one thing wrong, she never designated a “DAY OFF” for her……consequently she burned out & crumbled !!!!! Take care of yourself FIRST !!!!! You Go Girl!!!

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